In the face of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's courageous decision to back legislation legalizing same-sex marriage, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie took to the airwaves to put his Cheetos-encrusted thumbprint on the debate.
"I am not a fan of same-sex marriage," said Republican Christie, "just as I am not a fan of aerobic exercise and portion control."
"To me," he continued, "marriage between one man and one woman is as wholesome and American as automatic walkways at shopping malls, brown sugar and pancake syrup on salads, and making clandestine, spermatozoac uterine deposits into my Lieutenant Governor, allegedly."
Nevertheless, a few outspoken NYC gays responded with cautious gratitude to Gov. Cuomo:
"So, New York has legalized gay marriage, and everyone is cool about it, right? said one angry homo. "No 'Thanks, but it should have happened ages ago' frustration? Okay dokey. A marriage license and hot, man-on-man action is in my immediate future."
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